A MINUTE AND A DAY !

I went on two dates with the John and by the end of the second date I knew immediatly that it would go no further than that ! I really liked him but he came on too strong to me and I was in no way physically attracted to him . . I had to be honest with myself , I am actually getting good at this dating thing I have become super intuitive and when I know I know I don't want to waste time or hurt feelings . I called him today and told him I just couldn't go out with him again I honestly need time to be by myself I have decided that maybe I am meant to be alone for the rest of my life , maybe my higher power has mapped it out that I am to stay alone until I complete whatever is intended for my future . I am actually ok with being alone , I mean it gets lonely but my life is full I have my children to devote most of my time to and I have my family , AA family , friends , I have people who genuinely care for me and for now that is enough I lead such a hectic life these days , I am going back to school at the end of September so my schedule is going to go haywire once again . So here I am again in the same position of possibly clicking with someone and lo and behold it just didn't feel right . I am so grateful that I realized when I did and I feel good about the decision that I made .
I went to a meeting tonight that I have never been to and it was so positively uplifting and there was a woman celebrating 20 years of sobriety tonight and the speakers were just awesome one in particular kind of grabbed my attention and held it . I was so meant to be in that room tonight instead of on a 3rd date like I was supposed to be ! I am speaking at a meeting Monday night and I am actually kind of looking forward to it instead of thinking of ways to back out of it . I am always nervous but when I celebrated my 1 year anniversary and got up to speak a calmness suddenly came over me and has stayed with me ever since , I am terrified but at the same time I give a great message when I speak and I am extremely confident that maybe just maybe I can reach someone and help them in some way .