A MINUTE AND A DAY !

I went on two dates with the John and by the end of the second date I knew immediatly that it would go no further than that ! I really liked him but he came on too strong to me and I was in no way physically attracted to him . . I had to be honest with myself , I am actually getting good at this dating thing I have become super intuitive and when I know I know I don't want to waste time or hurt feelings . I called him today and told him I just couldn't go out with him again I honestly need time to be by myself I have decided that maybe I am meant to be alone for the rest of my life , maybe my higher power has mapped it out that I am to stay alone until I complete whatever is intended for my future . I am actually ok with being alone , I mean it gets lonely but my life is full I have my children to devote most of my time to and I have my family , AA family , friends , I have people who genuinely care for me and for now that is enough I lead such a hectic life these days , I am going back to school at the end of September so my schedule is going to go haywire once again . So here I am again in the same position of possibly clicking with someone and lo and behold it just didn't feel right . I am so grateful that I realized when I did and I feel good about the decision that I made .
I went to a meeting tonight that I have never been to and it was so positively uplifting and there was a woman celebrating 20 years of sobriety tonight and the speakers were just awesome one in particular kind of grabbed my attention and held it . I was so meant to be in that room tonight instead of on a 3rd date like I was supposed to be ! I am speaking at a meeting Monday night and I am actually kind of looking forward to it instead of thinking of ways to back out of it . I am always nervous but when I celebrated my 1 year anniversary and got up to speak a calmness suddenly came over me and has stayed with me ever since , I am terrified but at the same time I give a great message when I speak and I am extremely confident that maybe just maybe I can reach someone and help them in some way .

1 YEAR

Today is my 1 year sober birthday !! I am sooo excited I made it to the BIG one . This has been one hell of a year with alot of ups and downs and ins and outs . I have been doing alot of looking back and I have absolutely no regrets , things happen for a reason and people whom are meant to be in your life are there because they belong there .
I have been on my own for a while now no relationship so glad the last two ended because neither guy was for me and I am happy I realized it and got out when I did . The real work now begins in my sobriety I have been coasting by but I need to start doing the work in my program the way it is meant to be worked. I have many goals I would like to start reaching but I have to do them one at a time to ensure they are accomplished.
My Anniversary celebration is Thursday night and I am expecting alot of people my mom will be there as well as one of my brothers and one of my sisters as well as my children . I have alot of friends in the rooms and it will be wonderful to have my family and my AA family out there supporting me on this very special evening .
Things in my life have been good recently I have been happy on my own , despite the struggles I am grateful for all I do have and I work darn hard to have what I have . This past year has been a huge learning experience for me and I have a long way to go, I asked a friend of mine last week how much time he has and he told me he is going on 13 years and he wished that the first 5 years were better quality than quantity and it was then that I truly realized that that's what I wanted . I want quality clean time not quantity , quality is sooo much more important and that is my top goal .